Tuesday, October 2, 2012

10 Unknown Facts About Rutger Hauer

Ladies and Gentlemen, I apologize once again for my absence. I would say that this is becoming a habit, but there is too much time inbetween me apologizing for my absence for it to be considered a habit. I've changed jobs (I now manage a flea market, but feel lied to as I've yet to see a single flea). I've been looking for new lodgings. I wrote two novels since last you saw me and published nothing. I started a new blog/project that has me writing and sharing twenty short stories a month. I started a twitter account for the sole reason of following @SarcasticRover, because he is unafraid to share the truth about Mars. I also discovered MineCraft, but that's a whole other time sink, and an article for another day. Still, I realized that I should share some new truths I've recently uncovered, and today being Tuesday, the timing was perfect.

Today, for your Ten Facts Tuesday, I'll share some juicy tidbits I uncovered about the famed actor Rutger Hauer. Why him? Because I watched Blade Runner the other day, and Roy Batty is awesome. That's why. Fun fact: he improvised that speech he gave in the rain at the end. Rutger Hauer, whom I first saw in Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the movie, not the TV show), is a Dutch actor born in Breukelen, the Netherlands (and namesake for Brooklyn, New York) in 1944. He spent a year at sea swabbing decks. He got his big break in the show Floris, a medieval drama directed by Paul Verhoeven, who in turn brought us cinematic masterpieces like RoboCop, Total Recall, Basic Instinct, Showgirls, Starship Troopers, and Hollow Man. As well as appearing in such great films as Ladyhawke, Sin City, Batman Begins, and Hobo with a Shotgun, he also is a dedicated environmentalist, the narrator for an audiobook, and the author of his own biography.

But here are a few facts you won't find on his Wikipedia page.

10 Unknown Facts about Rutger Hauer:
  1. He is such a method actor, he actually became a vampire for his role as Lothos in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. He has since recovered.
  2. He once mailed himself from China to Brazil. He said while the travel accommodations weren't terrible (letters make a decent mattress), the worst part was keeping the stamps from falling off.
  3. Speaking of Brail, he has a cameo in the Terry Gilliam movie of the same name as the fly that gums up the machines at the beginning and sets the whole plot in motion.
  4. He once wrestled a bear. It was a cage mage, with standard tables-ladders-chairs, and a "stolen girlfriend" storyline. He lost the girl, but won the belt and then retired to maintain his undefeated status.
  5. He has a favorite color, but it is not visible to the human eye. The color is called glumph, and it is the color of swallowing something too big only to have it get caught in your throat.
  6. Rutger's agents told me you lack the security clearance to know unknown fact #6, but now you know there was a fact you didn't know existed that you aren't cleared to know, so that's something.
  7. Rutger Hauer can tell the time using any sort of dial. Sundial, radio dial, a bar of Dial soap. Even something that's radial, because it has "dial" at the end.
  8. He does on-site tech support for the Mars Curiosity rover.
  9. He owns an exotic dinosaur collection, not to be confused with a collection of local "earthy" dinosaurs.
  10. He has saved the earth seven times (from aliens, asteroids, robot uprisings, etc). His environmental efforts are his long term plans to save it an even tenth (he expects at least two more crises before he finishes the environmental save).
There you have it, ladies and gentleman. A man of action. Actor. Writer. Activist. Bear wrestler. Rutger Hauer.

You have been informed.

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