Thursday, May 21, 2009

Dastardly Accountability

Ladies and Gentlemen, there's been a big push in recent years for accountability and transparency. People want some accountability in our government after the past administration or two, some system in which leaders take responsibility for their actions, and the people want to be informed (transparency). We're tired of being left in the dark. Even in classrooms, there is a push for accountability and transparency. With the No Child Left Behind Act, teachers are being held accountable for the results of student achievement on statistically unrealistic levels. Likewise, parents want to know exactly what is happening in the classroom so they know how to word the lawsuit when Little Sally fails a spelling test. We expect accountability and transparency in those who govern us, but you know who has always given us both, through thick and thin, for time immemorial?


How many James Bond movies find the bad guy telling her Majesty's favorite spy every single element of his plan. "First I'm going to shoot the moon with this laser I made from parts I purchased at Home Depot. You can find my schematics at Then when the moon is destroyed, tides will run wild, which in turn will bring me vast fortunes as I have invested in both elevated housing technology and the boat building industry. Then I'm going to get a submarine to go underwater to retrieve all of the gold from Fort Knox while my laser sharks hunt you down, Mr. Bond, and then... you will die!"

We simply don't see that kind of honesty or openness in our leaders today. It's always "We have a plan. Things are in motion. I will not know about all of these things so I can deny knowing about them later. Any questions? Sorry, I have a thing. I don't have time to answer that one."

Likewise, Villains are the first to claim credit for their actions. When they have a plot, they take over the airwaves and make sure every person in the world knows. They hack your iPod so you get their diabolical proclamation mid "Tara's Party Mix Playlist." They put it in papers. They use psychic suggestion to put that thought, that credit into your mind. And when they fail, they admit it, but like responsible individuals promise never to give up and vow to try again.

Perhaps in the future, we should consider electing Doctor No to office. I mean, come on. He's a villain, so he's going to be upfront with you. He'll tell you what he's up to every step of the way so you can stop him if you deem it important, and he'll take full responsibility for his actions. Plus, he's a doctor, so clearly he's concerned with health care and education.

You have been informed.

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