Ten Unknown Facts about Professional Writers
- Professional writers are allowed to eat their dessert first if they like.
- Professional writers can rewrite anything, even personal histories.
- Professional writers are sixteen times more likely to earn an Eagle Talon High Five than non writers.
- Professional writers are all members of a super secret club like freemasonry only fun where they can go and hang out and watch TV and play games with other writers whenever they want. (When they're not under deadlines from their editors, that is)
- Professional writers all have magic plates that hold 36% more food at buffets, meaning they have to make fewer trips down the crowded food lines.
- Professional writers get DVRs that program themselves. Yup. It automatically knows they want to watch Lost.
- Professional writers have access to a super secret formula of Diet Doctor Pepper that tastes even more like regular Doctor Pepper.
- Professional writers' cars on average get an extra three miles to the gallon.
- Professional writers get into all the cons they want for free.
- Professional writers can buy their eggs for seven cents apiece in Malta and sell them for five cents apiece and still make a profit.
Just so you know. Sure there are other benefits, like getting paid to share your ideas and your creations with the world, in knowing what you do makes other people happy. And yes, there are drawbacks. Deadlines. Pressure. Rewrites. The unpredictable nature of the work, the unreliability of the paychecks. Even so, it's always something I've wanted to do. Those ten perks> That's just icing on the cake.
You have been informed.