Ladies and Gentlemen, let's be super quick about this. I'm really close to finishing the time machine and I want to share a truth before I go in case the future is so awesome that I never want to come back. Or in case I find out the warning was about something really lame and utterly not worth sharing.
So here is today's truth.
Eagles will give you a high five if you're cool enough. Few people, however, are. They like to keep the number of Eagle Talon High Fives given per anum low to prevent inflation, thus devaluing the eagle talon high five. Currently, you must be at least this cool to get one, and on an open social status market, a high five from an eagle will get you your choice between a ride in a space shuttle and a presidential nomination.
I've never gotten one before, but I'm hoping the time machine will score me an ETHF of my own. I sure could use a space shuttle trip.
You have been informed.