9) The Kwisatz Haderach

Ladies and Gentlemen, for today's post, I'm afraid I really don't have anything new and interesting to tell. I tried. I decided to explain the 9th item on the Wil Wheaton 10 facts. I was going to tell the story behind

9) Wil Wheaton is the Kwisatz Haderach

but the fact of the matter is, it's a state of being. It's a quality. There's no story to it. I don't have a story for why my hair is blond. "Oh, Mr. Truth, tell us the story of your blond hair!"

Ok. I was born with it. A random pairing of genes caused it. The end.

Same for Wil. He was just born that way. He knows how to use the suits on Arrakis without being told. No story. He just is.

You have been informed.

10 Unknown Facts About Wil Wheaton

Ladies and Gentlemen, here in these United States, we often find ourselves caught up in a frenzied cult of celebrity, fueled by tabloids, headline news, and half a dozen "OMFG, she wore WHAT?" feeds. Too often we get caught up in the surface of these celebrities. Who are they dating? What projects are they working on? What drugs are they in rehab for? We find ourselves overlooking the subtleties that make them who they are. We miss their hidden little secrets. This regular installment will profile a celebrity by sharing ten facts about them that you may not know.

For this week's celebrity, I chose Wil Wheaton. Having just finished reading his book Just a Geek, I was shocked to find that while he addressed his career as an actor and writer and his nature as a geek, there were many things which only add to his geek street cred that he did not include. Below is a list of ten things about Wil Wheaton that he failed to mention in his book. And like Nigel Tuffnel's amp, this list of ten things goes to eleven.
FNORD
10 Unknown Facts about Wil Wheaton:

1. The more Cthulu learns about Wil Wheaton, the more insane he becomes.
2. Wil Wheaton won Gary Gygax's lucky 20 sider when the D&D (co)creator bet him he couldn't fit an entire 3rd edition Monster's Manual (vol.1) in his mouth. Wil fit the first four volumes.
   
3. Wil knows whether or not the Johns Linnell and Flansburgh are, in fact, giants.
   
4. Contrary to the Trekkie popular belief, Wil Wheaton cannot travel around time. However, when he desires it, time will travel around him.
5. Wil Wheaton started a real AADA, but had to disband it after simultaneously defeating all five other co-founders with nothing but a Radio Flyer wagon and a single flaming oil jet. To be fair to his competitors, I must point out that it was an HD flaming oil jet.
6. Accurately depicted in GURPS, Wil Wheaton as a character would cost 413 points.
   
7. Wil Wheaton has access to seventh level disciplines.
8. Wil Wheaton once visited the eighth dimension using his own home-made oscilation overthruster.
9. Wil Wheaton is the Kwisatz Haderach.
10. Wil Wheaton is Three Laws Safe!
11. Wil Wheaton is Security Clearance ULTRAVIOLET.

You have been informed. FNORD