Showing posts with label star trek. Show all posts
Showing posts with label star trek. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

10 Unknown Facts about Zachary Quinto and Justin Long

Ladies and Gentlemen, today is the birthday of both Zachary Quinto, whom you may recognize as Sylar from the TV show Heroes and twenty-something Spock from the new Star Trek movie (not to be confused with Young Spock- Jacob Kogan, or Old Spock/Spock Prime-Leonard Nemoy), and Justin Long, who does great movies like Zack and Miri (Make a Porno), Dodgeball, GalaxyQuest, and Idiocracy when he's not selling his soul to the devil by selling Macs. I really like both of these guys (even if one does try to sell me a smug sense of superiority for a pretty, but overpriced computer that won't play any decent games), and I couldn't decide which to share ten facts about this week. Then I figured since they both share the same birthday, let's share a list of ten facts they have in common.


10 Unknown Facts about Zachary Quinto and Justin Long
  1. Zachary Quinto and Justin Long can both drive a standard and automatic transmission as well as the Semi-Automatic transmission, which only sometimes requires you to manually shift gears. The trick is anticipating when the transmission has decided when it wants you to do it instead.
  2. Zachary Quinto and Justin Long have each eaten enough brownies in one sitting to kill a small elephant.
  3. Zachary Quinto and Justin Long crocheted chain mail shirts out of steel cable.
  4. Zachary Quinto and Justin Longhave escape plans from their homes drawn up in case of fire, burglars, and zombies.
  5. Zachary Quinto and Justin Longhave mystical self-refilling ink cartridges for their printers, the lucky schmucks.
  6. Zachary Quinto and Justin Long can shoot flaming tulips from their hands at will.
  7. Zachary Quinto and Justin Longboth know why the caged bird sings.
  8. Zachary Quinto and Justin Long live on 36 hour daily cycles, making scheduling around their twelve hour sleep sessions difficult.
  9. Zachary Quinto and Justin Long can gain total daily nutritional requirements from chocolate cake.
  10. Zachary Quinto and Justin Long were invited to attend Hogwarts when they were 11, but turned down the offer in hopes of making it big in Hollywood. How lucky for them they didn't turn down wizarding school for nothing.
They really do have some amazing similarities, don't they? What are the odds? I guess we'll never know. Unless one of you has a doctorate in statistics and probability, in which case, what are the odds? I'm sure we'd really like to know.

You have been informed

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

10 Unknown Facts about James Doohan

Ladies and Gentlemen, in honor of his birthday, this week's 10 Unknown Facts segment is about Canadian actor James Doohan. That name may not be familiar to some of you, but perhaps if I gave you the name Mongomery "Scotty" Scott, it would. James Doohan played the Chief of Engineering on the original Star Trek series, which inspired numerous individuals to pursue degrees in science. He developed the "first draft," so to speak, of the Klingon language for the show. He also served in World War II (even losing a finger to machine gun fire), and once saved a fan's life. He was an amazing guy. Here are a few amazing things about him you may not have known.

10 Unknown Facts about James Doohan:
  1. When Scotty told Captain Kirk that he was giving him all the Enterprise had, James Doohan would sigh on the inside knowing that if he were there, he could give a little more.
  2. James Doohan could recite Pi. All of it.
  3. James Doohan once led a camel through the eye of a needle to give his rich friends hope.
  4. During WWII, James Doohan would volunteer for two shifts on the nightwatch. He would take the first one and when he got tired, his mustache would take the second.
  5. James Doohan could fly any plane including a Euclydian plane.
  6. Despite his degree from the Milwaukee School of Engineering being honorary, James Doohan could still rewire a damaged warp coil if he needed too.
  7. James Doohan not only helped invent the Klingon language, he also helped invent leetspeak (1337 5p34k) and English.
  8. James Doohan coded a biometric lock to his missing finger, making it impossible for anyone to unlock it without putting the absence of his finger on the fingerprint scanner (it's a lot harder than it sounds).
  9. James Doohan fought the law and the law did not win.
  10. James Doohan built his own rocket so that he could be there on the moon waiting to photograph man's first step on an unearthly body.
He was truly an amazing man. Some say he was the kindest of all of Star Trek's cast members. In July of 2005, he passed away and boldly went were all of us are destined to go: to the undiscovered country (and I'm not referring to the set of Star Trek VI.)

You have been informed.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Wil's Vampiric Powers and Life Changing Pub Crawl

Ladies and Gentlemen, I think it's time I get back to explaining Wil Wheaton's 10 Unknown Facts list. I believe I left off explaining six, so we should start today with number 7, which actually has a bonus explanation.

7) Wil Wheaton has access to seventh level disciplines.

This is just a quick one. First we must step back a hundred years. Two vampires were having it out (like they do) and one fleshcraft/bonecrafted an elder vampire into a cup for some really horrible thing. I think it was diablarie, and since the vampire got in trouble for drinking the soul of another vampire he was made into a cup so others would constantly drink from him? I don't know. The thought processes of vampires have always been a thing of mystery for me. Regardless.

Skip to the almost present. Wil was filming for Star Trek: Nemesis. The vampiric cup made its way onto the set as a prop for the wedding scene. Wil was assigned this cup. Using a touch induced dominate, the vampire was able to possess what he thought would be an actor who would essentially allow him to have a body to walk and talk with. Unfortunately for the vampire, Wil was in character at the moment. Really in character. So the vampire ultimately ended up possessing Wesley Crusher. When the scene ended, Wil took back over and the vampire was relegated to a permanent back seat, the way John Cusack was at the end of Being John Malkovich.

The director noticed this possession and made a very difficult decision. It would hurt Wil's feelings and possibly turn the actor against him, but it was for the safety of the world, so he had no choice. He had to make sure the character of Wesley Crusher never appeared again, lest the vampire take over and bring unspeakable horrors to the world. He would have the editor remove the character from the movie entirely under the pretense of "time constraints." Hence the character only being given one line and it being cut from the movie. Unless Wil reads this blog, he still does not know the real reason he was editted from the movie.

This post isn't over, however. I told you that you'd get a bonus explanation and you shall. When I posted this list, I changed item seven to "Wil Wheaton knows how to get to Callahan's Place," but for some reason, the change never saved onto the blog. Here's the explanation to the missing list item.

7a) Wil Wheaton knows how to get to Callahan's Place.

(Again, I mention that this is based on a third party account, so some of the dialogue may seem a little authentic. I assume it was much more real and heartfelt, and less cheesy when it actually happened.)

If you've read Just a Geek, you may recall the part of the book where Wil has several auditions in one week and has to skip a family trip to Tahoe to try out for these roles his agent found for him. What he did not mention was that one of these auditions was in New York. He did not get the callback and was feeling rather down. He decided that he would rent a car and drive back to California to give him a few days alone to wallow in his misery and have a nice long chat with Prove To Everyone That Quitting Star Trek Wasn't A Mistake. He stopped for gas and a pint of Guinness in New Jersey in a little out of the way bar, so out of the way in fact he was kinda surprised he found it. But then, that's the way things work at Callahan's Place. No one really finds the place unless they need to.

Wil walked in and took a seat at the bar. A warm friendly fellow of a man poured a pint of the cold creamy stout. No one pried, no one ever does, but the bartender, Mike Callahan, did let Wil know about the Option: When you buy a beer, you can either return the glass and get a small portion of your money back, or you can make a toast and throw the glass into the fireplace. (Mike has a belief that if you can name a pain, you can deal with it, you see, and so the toast is actually a way for people to name their pain and open up to the healing process).

Wil would not turn down the chance to smash something, at least not in the state he found himself in. He pulled his feet across the floor and stood before the hearth. The fire gleamed in his eyes as he raised his glass. "To fame," he said before downing the remainder of his beer and hurling the frosty mug into the roaring flames, sending a thousand shards of glass racing exploding from the center of the blaze where the glass struck. Wil observed a casual similarity to the Big Bang. So many tiny little stars flying out from one mass of burning potential. Sure, he realized that in actuallity, what he witnessed was, in fact, nothing like what the Big Bang really would have been like. Even so, he was stuck on the idea of comparatively little fragments of shiney nothing flying away from a point of infinite potential, a warm center brimming with the possibility of being anything and everything, but ultimately becoming nothing more than a smattering of brief tiny glimmers in a field of black.

He stared into the fireplace for a few more moments before laughing sadly to himself and shuffling back to the bar. Staring blankly at the counter, he ordered another. "Don't worry. I won't break this one."

"It's alright, kid. I buy in bulk."

Wil chuckled. He laughed He practically rolled. It wasn't funny. He had no idea why he found the idea so amusing, but it seemed to open a floodgate in him. It was the simplicity of it that grabbed his fancy, Wil determined. Glasses would break anyway. You may as well get some kind of visceral thrill out of the smash, savor the vicarious breaking of whatever ails you. Ails. Ales. He chuckled at the pun before sharing his observation with Mike Callahan.

Mike chuckled as well. "You'd fit right in here, kid. But something tells me that you're a little too far from home to be a regular."

Wil agreed and gave his story. The early success promising a future that wouldn't come. The doubt. The auditions. The love/hate relationship with the only thing that provided some form of semi-regular income. The seemingly endless stream of failure.

"Why do you need to be famous so much?" Mike asked.

"To prove to people that I'm not just some worthless guy who supposedly ruined their favorite show."

"What people?"

"I don't know. Just people."

"Don't you think you should at least learn their names before you worry about trying to impress them? I don't know about you, but I have a hard time knowing how to impress someone I don't know very well, let alone at all."

"I know, I know. But that doesn't make it any easier."

"What do the people you do know think of you?"

"They like me, I suppose."

"And their opinion matters to you?"

"Of course."

"Then why don't you worry about more about them and less about people you don't even know?"

"I suppose you're right. I mean, I know you're right, but..."

"Where are they right now? You're family?"

Wil sighed and told him about the trip, about bailing out at the last minute, about disappointing those he cared for only to be disappointed by his auditions and himself.

"They sound nice," Callahan said.

"They are," Wil sighed wistfully. "They really are. If I were half as good at my job as I am with them..."

"Vacation skipping excluded?"

"Vacation skipping excluded, I'd be huge."

"Why do you need to be rich and famous so much anyway?"

"So I can take care of them. And so I don't have to feel like such a huge failure all the time."

"Look," Callahan said, "in my experience, fame and fortune don't matter that much to those closest to you. And from what I've seen, kids with a steady supply of love tend to grow up much happier and well adjusted than those with a steady stream of wealth. You've become a loving father to these kids whose only experience with that in the past was Leave it to Beaver reruns. That means a lot more to them than seeing you on TV."

"Yeah. I should rearrange my priorities, huh?"

"Family first," Mike said with a smile.

"Family first," echoed Wil.

"I'm sure you'll find a lot more satisfaction in doing well at your career as a father and wife anyway."

"I'm sure I will."

Wil ordered another Guinness and joined in when Jake Stonebender and Fast Eddie sang a round of "The Drunkard's Song." When the song came to its closing bars, Wil paid his tab and made his way to the door, with more smile and substantially more bounce to his step than when he entered.

"Where ya headed?" asked Mike knowingly.

"Tahoe!" came the cheerful reply as the door closed behind him.

Now, Wil never made it to Tahoe. For reasons beyond his control, he went home instead. But that's another story for another day.

You have been informed.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

10 Unknown Facts About Wil Wheaton

Ladies and Gentlemen, here in these United States, we often find ourselves caught up in a frenzied cult of celebrity, fueled by tabloids, headline news, and half a dozen "OMFG, she wore WHAT?" feeds. Too often we get caught up in the surface of these celebrities. Who are they dating? What projects are they working on? What drugs are they in rehab for? We find ourselves overlooking the subtleties that make them who they are. We miss their hidden little secrets. This regular installment will profile a celebrity by sharing ten facts about them that you may not know.

For this week's celebrity, I chose Wil Wheaton. Having just finished reading his book Just a Geek, I was shocked to find that while he addressed his career as an actor and writer and his nature as a geek, there were many things which only add to his geek street cred that he did not include. Below is a list of ten things about Wil Wheaton that he failed to mention in his book. And like Nigel Tuffnel's amp, this list of ten things goes to eleven.
FNORD
10 Unknown Facts about Wil Wheaton:
  1. The more Cthulu learns about Wil Wheaton, the more insane he becomes.
  2. Wil Wheaton won Gary Gygax's lucky 20 sider when the D&D (co)creator bet him he couldn't fit an entire 3rd edition Monster's Manual (vol.1) in his mouth. Wil fit the first four volumes.
  3. Wil knows whether or not the Johns Linnell and Flansburgh are, in fact, giants.
  4. Contrary to the Trekkie popular belief, Wil Wheaton cannot travel around time. However, when he desires it, time will travel around him.
  5. Wil Wheaton started a real AADA, but had to disband it after simultaneously defeating all five other co-founders with nothing but a Radio Flyer wagon and a single flaming oil jet. To be fair to his competitors, I must point out that it was an HD flaming oil jet.
  6. Accurately depicted in GURPS, Wil Wheaton as a character would cost 413 points.
  7. Wil Wheaton has access to seventh level disciplines.
  8. Wil Wheaton once visited the eighth dimension using his own home-made oscilation overthruster.
  9. Wil Wheaton is the Kwisatz Haderach.
  10. Wil Wheaton is Three Laws Safe!
  11. Wil Wheaton is Security Clearance ULTRAVIOLET.
You have been informed. FNORD