Monday, October 13, 2008

10) Asimov Approved Wil

Ladies and Gentlemen, we're so close to the end of the list that I can taste it. Only two more to go, so let's get this penultimate truth explained, shall we?

10) Wil Wheaton is Three Laws Safe!

First, for those who don't know the Three Laws of Robotics, they are as follows:

  1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
  2. A robot must obey orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
  3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
I'm not saying Wil is a robot with a positronic brain. That would be ridiculous. He's as human as you or I. Even so, he subscribes to said rules above, only replace a robot with Wil Wheaton. Thus, Wil Wheaton practices non-violence (Law One), Charity and Service (Law Two), and not being stupid (Law Three).

I can hear you readers now throwing in your refutations. "But Mr. Truth, didn't Wil beat the bajibblies out of five people at once in that AADA he set up?" Well, here's a little No-Prize for me. His becoming Three Laws Safe actually happened as a result of this. He was in shock at the ease in which he a) planned to even truly get involved in a sport where the aim was to kill others, and b) the ease with which he had single-handedly defeated all five competitors. He was a man of dangerous power. If his hands fell into the wrong hands, no hands would be safe. Some time there after, not long, but some, he was reading his favorite bbs and saw a discussion of Asimov's works. A group of devoted followers of Asimov started the "Techno-Buddhist" movement, which, while being big and complex and metaphorical and New-Agey, essentially boiled down to Asimov's Three Laws. Wil, being the big sci-fi geek that he was, adopted this new philosophy of life and behavior which would keep him, and more importantly others, safe.

You have been informed.

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