Saturday, February 14, 2009

My Girlfriend, the Witch

Ladies and Gentlemen, don't tell her I said this, but I think my girlfriend is a witch. I don't mean she's mean. She's very nice. I don't mean she's Wicked Witch of the Westy either. Her skin tone is a shade of peachishness that falls easily within genetic norms. However, technology, specifically her computer, fails for her. All the time. The internet, for instance, is in a state of constant lagging out and crashityness. In fact, yesterday, it took me several attempts to finally post, as the laptop developed a persnickity habit of timing out every time I hit the post button, sending me back to the drawing board to rewrite the post. 

How does this make her a witch> I've been reading the Harry Dresden books. Maybe you've heard of them. They're about a wizard who lives in Chicago. His name is Harry Dresden, as you may have guessed. According to Mr. Dresden, if you do magic, technology rebels against you and fails just to spite you. Given her bad luck with electronics, this clearly means she's a possessor of supernatural abilities. Granted, I'm not one to prejudge a person exclusively on their ability to perform paranormal feats. That's profiling, and that's wrong. If the witch hunters from Old Boston are correct on the subject--and they must be, or else they wouldn't have killed those girls all those years ago, she gained her magic through congress with the Devil, which may sound bad, but really, if she got anything out of congress, good for her. That's more than most people I know have ever been able to do. Ever. 

I guess the moral of the story is if someone you know has a problem with electronics, tell them your concerns about the economy, the war, or any other problem you see with the state of the world and maybe they can get congress to do something about it.

You have been informed.

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