Wednesday, February 11, 2009

10 Unknown Facts About Nikola Tesla

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am slacking lately. I mean, wow. Two days in a row I've missed and one was a Ten Facts Tuesday! To make up for it I'm going to... well, it's hardly anything special. I'm going to do Ten Facts a day late and I'll do another post today. About something. I haven't decided what to research yet. But for now...

Today is Thomas Alva Edison's birthday, and to celebrate, I'm going to write ten commemorative facts about Nikola Tesla. Tesla was the original mad scientist. He invented a form of electricity that not only didn't kill you, but went everywhere and looked cool and made you feel like you had lightning powers. He theorized that with a series of precisely timed explosions, you could split the planet in half. I bet if he'd have lived longer and not lost funding, he'd have built an army of atomic robots. It's the world's loss. 

10 Unknown Facts about Nikola Tesla:
  1. The TV show MacGyver was based on Tesla's boyhood shenanigans.
  2. Jules Verne not only predicted nuclear submarines, but also Nikola Tesla.
  3. Nikola Tesla knows how Ted Mosby met his wife.
  4. Nikola Tesla can fly. Seriously. And not with one of his inventions. Just. Fly.
  5. By the way, for those of you wondering about the present tense verbs, Tesla totally invented a way to live forever, but his resentment of Edison keeps him from sharing with anyone who's never had an Eagle Talon High Five.
  6. Nikola Tesla taught Barney Stinson about meeting women.
  7. Nikola Tesla's socks fold themselves.
  8. Nikola Tesla is the only person in recorded history to shoot a four-pointer in basketball. 
  9. Nikola Tesla formed a rock band with Mark Twain and Oscar Wilde. He was the drummer, and as such, they didn't let him write any songs.
  10. Nikola Tesla fired an apple into orbit using a rubber band and a paperclip, which he also invented, though credit was given to someone else.
He was an amazing man, to be sure. So amazing only David Bowie could play him in the movie The Prestige (an homage to Tesla's rock band days. Did I mention he invented rock music too>). So, to celebrate Thomas Edison's birthday, I provided ten amazing facts about his underrated rival. 

You have been informed.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You're a goof! You have no IDEA who Nikola Tesla really was!