Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome back to Ten Facts Tuesday (I know last week I did it on a Wednesday, but that was because it was about Wil Wheaton and I couldn't resist the alliteration. I mean, come on Ten Facts Tuesday or Wil Wheaton Wednesday?). I digress.
While in Biloxi, Mississippi not long ago, I saw that both Wayne Newton and Don King, both Vegas icons, would both be at the same casino at the same time: the Beau Rivage. I did some investigating into the two of them. Here is what I found.
10 Unknown Facts about Wayne Newton:
1) Wayne Newton can turn invisible at will.
2) Wayne Newton built a time machine so he could watch himself perform to see what all the fuss was about.
3) Wayne Newton consumes three times his body weight in exotic cheeses per day.
4) Wayne Newton can not only write equally well with both hands, but also with both feet.
5) Wayne Newton is immortal as long as he does not stray too far from the Holy Grail.
6) At the age of three, Wayne Newton shot Hitler just after giving him the cyanide capsule. He told the dictator it was a jelly bean.
7) Wayne Newton speaks fluent Klingon.
8) For Wayne Newton, every day is double coupon day.
9) Wayne Newton's feces really do smell like roses and are rumored to be the base of a number of perfumes.
10) Wayne Newton has always known what Willis was talking about.
10 Unknown Facts about Don King:
1) Don King leapt fully formed from the head of Teddy Roosevelt.
2) Don King can kill anything with four or more legs with but a thought, though a three legged dog is beyond his abilities.
3) Don King once raced a cheetah cross country. The cheetah won by five minutes, but it cheated and used a car.
4) Don King's hair is actually a side-effect of his lightning powers, which he won off of Zeus with the beer hand.
5) Don King does not make up words, but rather uses his mystic powers to pull existing words from the future, thus creating a time loop.
6) It was Don King, and not a dingo nor a kobold, that ate your baby.
7) Don King gets paid a dollar every time Emiril says "bam." No one knows why.
8) Don King started the Furby fad just so he could hate them.
9) Don King can name all 101 dalmations.
10) Don King gets presents from Santa every year, even though Santa doesn't exist.
Given the proximity of these two Epic Entertainers, surely an awesome battle ensued (probably on the pool deck). The question is, who won?
Leave a comment explaining why you think one will triumph over the other. I'll research the guesses and come back with the story of how the fight really went down.
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1 comment:
Given the fact that Wayne Newton is invisible and invincible (hmm... does that mean that Clay Aiken dreams of becoming Wayne Newton someday? Or, perhaps... Clay Aiken IS Wayne Newton, considering WN's time-traveling abilities... food for thought. But I digress), and the fact that Don King cannot kill anything with less than 4 legs with his thoughts, I think this one is a no-brainer.
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