Tuesday, January 13, 2009

10 Unknown Facts About Don Knotts

Ladies and Gentlemen, I grew up watching Don Knotts play the wacky deputy Barney Fife on the Andy Griffith Show. I watched him play some wacky old guy opposite old Andy Griffith on Matlock. I remember watching him be a wacky coward on The Ghost and Mr. Chicken. I saw quite a bit of Don Knotts growing up in fact, or at least on TV. Here are a few things I learned about Mr. Knotts since he passed away in 2006 that changed my perception of that wacky, lovable coot.

10 Unknown Facts About Don Knotts
  1. Don Knotts could snipe a cherry off of an ice cream sundae from 1000 yards. With a rubber band.
  2. Don Knotts could handle eating Mentos and Diet Coke at the same time.
  3. Don Knotts can walk a fishing line tightrope across the Grand Canyon. That's right. Not could. Can. Even today.
  4. Don Knotts once counted to google. 
  5. Don Knotts discovered Atlantis, but took its secret location to his grave. 
  6. Don Knotts was immune to both the common and uncommon cold.
  7. Don Knotts could mystically turn margarine to butter and back (turning it back was assumed but unproven, because who in their right mind would turn real butter into margarine>)
  8. Don Knotts once spent a year meditating upon the sound of popcorn seeds being poured into a hot pan.
  9. Don Knotts diffused the Cuban Missile Crisis by threatening to catch any launched nukes by either country and throw them right back where they came from.
  10. Don Knotts once pulled a semi truck with his teeth. While it was trying to drive in the opposite direction.
It's amazing how the truth changes your perception of a man. I always imagined him as a lovable, bumbling, slow-witted codger. Now I understand that he was a man of peak physical and mental ability, which only proves what a truly talented actor he really was. He will continue to be missed.

You have been informed.

1 comment:

Gwenny said...

FINALLY, someone cooler than Chuck Norris!!