10 Unknown Facts about Joe Biden:
- One of Joe Biden's first jobs was as salesman for the Dunder-Mifflin Paper Company. They say his sales record rivaled that of Michael Scott.
- Joe Biden's space ork army can trounce any tyranid army ever fielded.
- Joe Biden can read a ten point font from 100 yards away.
- Joe Biden can tap dance "Flight of the Bumblebee," both rhythmically and melodically.
- Joe Biden personally counted every single person present at the inauguration.
- Even though he has complete confidence in the secret service, Joe Biden surrounds himself with an invisible psychic forcefield at all times.
- Joe Biden knows the question whose answer, 42, the mice paid so much to learn.
- Joe Biden was tempted to sleep in today since probably no one would notice his absence and he stayed up late last night to rewatch the fourth season of Lost before the season premier tomorrow.
- Joe Biden plans to use all of his new found free-time as vice president over the next four years to learn to perform all of those neat magic tricks he used to watch as a kid so that he, as second poorest senator, can have a supplemental second income as a magician so lobbyists don't try to target him with bribes all of the time.
- Joe Biden takes his oath that he will protect America from any and all enemies foreign and domestic very seriously to the point where he is spending what spare income he has to develop super powers. He's hoping for a selection like Superman's or Spiderman's but will take what he can get.
Though you may forget about Mr. Biden today, just remember, he has not forgotten about you. Yes you. Personally. He's got crazy powerful mental abilities.
You have been informed.