Ladies and Gentlemen, I like to think of myself as a friendly guy. I'm not one to judge based on race, class, or creed. That being said, I'd like to take a moment to speak the portion of the Islamic population that's trying to ban bellydancers and alcohol from their hotels. Did you miss my report yesterday on the importance of dancing? Sure, ban booze all you like. It's your prerogative. After all, according to Maslow, we have the need to drink, but booze dehydrates as the body tries to flush the intoxicating toxins from the body, so drinking is counter productive. But I wrote a whole piece about the importance of dancing to continued human survival. Did you miss it? It explained how dancing is as important as eating, breathing, and breeding to our ongoing existance. Are you trying to kill these poor bellydancers? You may remark that it is too racy, to sexy for married couples and families to witness. Fair enough. The married couples are already breeding and meeting their needs. But what about the dancer? She needs to support herself. She needs to buy food, and so she uses one need to draw attention to another. She dances. She sways her uncovered belly about as if to say, "Do you see this belly? I left it uncovered for you to have a good look. Examine this flat tummy. Not an ounce of fat. Please pay me so that I may eat."
Do you not see? You are depriving the poor woman of two of life's necessities: eating and dancing. Is this not considered torture? Is this not prolonged homicide? How long can the human body go without dancing before it dies? Without air, several minutes, without water, several days, without food several weeks. Though all evidence is anecdotal without years of scientific research to support it, following the short lifespans of those deprived of other physiological needs, surely these bellydancers, even if able to scrounge scraps, cannot hope to live for more than two months tops without the ability to dance. Let them live. Let them dance.
You have been informed.