Ladies and Gentlemen, it seems someone out their either reading my blog or watching the news and taking their own initiative has taken steps to protect us against the army of super worms I mentioned the other day. A farmer in Lebanon has grown a 22 pound potato. He may pass it off as a fluke of nature, but we know the truth. He knew that if he could only draw the worms away from fault lines and other areas of importance, we could distract them long enough to find a way to fight them. Solution? Giant potatoes. They grow underground. They're already wormbait, right? Yes, he may be in Lebanon, but he knows this army affects everyone. Further, by making it seem like a random thing and not the result of deliberate genetic experimentation, he threw our evil worm doctor off the scent. Thank you, farmer. You may have saved us all. If I don't see any headlines about killer worms rampaging across the breadbasket, I'll know I have you to thank.
You have been informed