Saturday, December 13, 2008

Vampires and Plagues.

Ladies and Gentlemen, there are strange things afoot. From time to time, I go undercover and try to figure out what the vampires of my area are up to. Mostly it's just burning down buildings and writing bad poetry and killing each other. And dancing. Some vampires really like to dance. But the vampires in Fort Worth, Texas are particularly heinous I'm told. I don't know if that means their poetry is worse or their dancing more pretentious, but I don't want to find out. What I do know, is that there's been talk among the vampires about a killer virus. Granted it killed vampires and not people, but that's beside the point. So what does any of this mean?

Recently, I ordered a board game called Pandemic. In this board game, a number of viruses are spreading all over the world and the players must work together to stop the outbreaks before all of humanity is destroyed. While shipping the board game to me, Fed Ex stopped its travel for the night at Fort Worth. The vampires surely know I'm in their midst even if they don't know who exactly I am. They've read my blog, cyberstalked me, and have intercepted my package. It can be no coincidence that a game about a humanity killing plague stopped in Fort Worth of all places.

I think these evil vampires have a deadly virus or two and are using my board game to determine how, where, and when to best release the virus(es). If they lose the game enough times in a row, they'll determine the outbreak pattern is sufficient to kill us all.

Tomorrow, I go undercover among the vampires again. I must learn more about what they want with my board game and try to stop them. I'd do it tonight, but tonight, I'm hunting zombies in New Orleans.

You have been informed.

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