Friday, December 12, 2008

Snow in Mississippi?

Ladies and Gentlemen, as my fiancee may have informed you, it snowed yesterday. Well, there was snow mingling with rain. And in that cold snowy rain, I had to climb on the roof and rehang lights. As such, my fingers were too frozen to type and I had her post for me. I hope you enjoyed her guest appearance.

This does, however, make me question the weather. If we were promised global warming, why am I getting snow two years in a row in southern Mississippi, where it's usually balmy even in winter? Jackson, I'm told, a city a mere three hours north, took six inches. Prior to these, the last real snow I remember was when I was in Jr. High (eighth grade). Perhaps someone actually attempted that fire-extinguisher bomb I proposed. Probably not, or we would have noticed a climate change much sooner. No, what must be happening is that the Southern Hemisphere, sick of Florida, Hawaii, the Caribbean, and the Mediterranean getting all the snowbird tourists seeking warmth and as such have created a heat-vacuum, which is sucking all of the hot air toward the south pole to boost seasonal tourism. Now even people in warmer climes need to go south for winter. As the hot air moves out, the cold air rushes in to fill its place, pulling northern cold fronts down. Those cheeky Australians! Stop stealing my heat!

In other news, sugar molecules were found in a nebula far far away by French scientists. What this means is that when we start interstellar travel, we can bring along a pastry chef and not have to waste valuable storage space on sugar. Mmmm... pastries without the closet space.

You have been informed.


Excalibur Chicken said...

I propose a trade! Some of your winter for a bit of our summer. Just sign here and for only three easy payments(plus postage and packaging) you can be in possession of some genuine true-blue Aussie heat. We'll even throw in one of those little stuffed koalas that stick to your fridge. Hours of fun!

Mr. Truth said...

Hmmm... On the one hand, I could really use a little stuffed koala to stick on my fridge. On the other hand, are you trying to sell back the very heat you stole? You're a shrewd businessman, sir, and I like it.