10 Unknown Facts about Barack Obama

Ladies and Gentlemen, after yesterday's very serious plea for all able Americans to go vote, I give you, as promised, a one day delayed Ten Facts Tuesday about now President-Elect Barack Hussein Obama.

10 Unknown Facts about Barack Obama:

1. Barack Obama paid his way through college by killing vampires. While not a professional job persay, you are allowed to keep any money or valuables found on the vampire. And no, it's nothing like mugging someone or graverobbing. It's freelance supernatural policework.
2. Barack Obama did eventually get that change he was looking for.
3. Barack Obama once went on a road trip and drove his car to every state in the nation including Hawaii.
4. Barack Obama rolls natural twenties and eight sided dice.
5. As a champion of hope, Barack Obama learned how to pilot the TARDIS, on the optimistic chance the Doctor ever chooses him to be his new companion.
6. When Barack Obama asks "Can we do it?" Bob the Builder replies, "Yes we can."
7. Barack Obama can leap over moderately sized buildings in a single bound.
8. Barack Obama has laser eyes, but they are only class 1 lasers, and thus are pretty much only useful for pointing out things during PowerPoint presentations.
9. Barack Obama can temporarilly turn his bones to gelatin, allowing him to squeeze through tight spaces.
10. Barack Obama learned to speak Japanese so that he wouldn't have to deal with a lame dubbed version of Akira. Discovering Dragon Ball Z made him wish he never learned.

You have been informed.