Monday, November 17, 2008

Will Pirates Never Learn...

Ladies and Gentlemen, those wacky pirates are at it again. You may remember that long stand-off between the U.S. Navy and pirates onboard the hijacked boat carrying all those weapons (all those weapons the pirates didn't use in their defense). Well, this new breed of inept buccaneer is at it again. This time, they've captured a super-tanker of oil from Saudi Arabia.

Seriously. Look, pirates. It's high time you start taking this job seriously and stop grabbing every boat you see going past. First you took a ship full of guns that you didn't use to defend yourself and kept backing down from your threats for weeks and weeks before finally letting yourselves be captured. Now you've captured a tanker whose contents become decreasingly valuable every day. I hope you learned your lesson from the last prolonged hijacking, because if you don't move those crude oil goods quick, you'll be lucky to sell the oil for enough money to buy your old boat back. 

Remember, pirates. This isn't a hobby. It's not a game. It's a hard work job that requires you put in the training and the man hours to do it right or you'll just get crushed by the competition, who happens to be a modern navy with heavily armed warships. I assure you, the merger will be a hostile takeover. So act straight, or learn to ask if people want fries with that, because you are wholly unsuited for your current career choice. But then, that's kids today. Expecting everything to be easy and thinking everyone should just give them what they want without doing any work for it. **sigh**

You have been informed.

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