- Fact: Shipping and disposing of toxic waste requires people to do it. It creates jobs.
- Fact: Solar, Hydro-electric, and Wind power plants cannot melt down the way nuclear plants can. Your friendly neighborhood EPA has to start laying people off because business is slow.
- Fact: Meltdown irradiates communities, spreading cancer like a plague... of cancer. Hospitals are booming. More doctors are needed to treat people. More hospitals are needed to house people. More lawyers are needed to help the people get the compensation they deserve. A new power plant needs to be built. It creates jobs.
- Fact: For every person irradiated, there is a chance someone will develop superpowers and a superhero will be created. It creates jobs. It protects society.
- Fact: No one has ever gotten super powers from the failure of a solar panel or windmill.
Plus, it lets us feel superior when we hear people say "nucular."
And just to give you heads up, do not let your dogs have coffee. They could become addicts, which could lead to breaking and entering and acts of vandalism to get their morning fix.
You have been informed.