10 Unknown Facts about Dwight D. Eisenhower:
- Dwight D. Eisenhower isn't dead; he's serving as an ambassador to extra-terrestrial cultures. You think it's a coincidence he "died" so close to the Apollo Moon Landing? Oh that footage was faked all right, but not because we didn't land on the moon. It's because no cameras were allowed into the aliens' embassy.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower actually finished a game of Monopoly.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower is fluent in Ostrich. This confusion lead to his promotion of Military Governor of the U.S. Occupation Zone after WWII. He said he spoke Ostrich. They thought he said Österreich, which is German for "Austria."
- Dwight D. Eisenhower had a third arm growing from his chest, which he kept concealed.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower never slept. He would instead close his eyes and practice astral projection to spy on his enemies and supermodels.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower once wrestled a bear. Though it was unanimously decreed Ike won the fight, critics tend to agree that the bear had the better costume and signature move.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower played Dracula in the first major movie of the title. Out of modesty, he gave the credit to a poor immigrant friend of his named Bela Lugosi, who spoke no English.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower never touched the floor of the White House, instead choosing to ride a pony from room to room.
- When in charge of the European Theatre of Operations in WWII, Dwight D. Eisenhower put on a production of Showboat so good that D-Day was delayed, even though it meant landing on the beachhead in bad weather.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower went down in history for being the first person to not only hold his own breath for ten minutes, but to hold someone else's breath as well at the same time.
You have been informed.