Ladies and Gentlemen, I shall make this very quick today. I still have lots of work to do on the time machine. The sooner I finish it, the sooner I know what not to do. (What if I've already done it?). These are the concerns that keep me working on it late at night, the not knowing when I will commit this ill-fated act.
So here is your daily truth.
People often joke about penguins always wearing suits due to their black and white color scheme. I thought you may find it interesting to know that this is a deliberate evolutionary choice on penguin behalf (yes, I know evolution is unguided mutation, but "deliberate evolutionary choice" sounded less offensive than "penguin selective breeding") in an effort to one day infiltrate our society's ruling class elite to turn our fishing industry to their own corrupt and self-serving needs. I'm still researching what those needs are, but I'm sure once I find out, it'll be pretty darn nefarious.
You have been informed.