Ladies and Gentlemen, these days I find myself increasingly saddened by the state of the youth of the world today with their iPods and their internet and their downloading and their texting. They never learn any principles. They never learn the value of hard work. They get lazy. They never learn to do their jobs right. They never learn to do anything if they think they can get some piece of technology to do it for them.
Case in point:
The Somali pirates have taken over a ship filled with arms and demand a ransom of they'll blast the boat to Davey Jones's Locker. What's wrong with these guys? Pirates? Hardly.
Do you see any sails on that boat? Nope. That's right. They never learned to sail. "Oh, I'm a modern pirate. Why would I need a sail if I can just use a motor? Then I don't have to learn any stupid knots." Newsflash: You're a pirate. It's not like people are going to line up to let you pump gas at their boat docks. And what if you need to lay low? Wouldn't it be nice to know you can go out to sea and know that you can go whereever you need without having to stop for fuel in some port where you know people are looking to capture you?
Do any of these pirates carry swords, cutlasses, scimitars, or other blades? Oh no. They've got guns. "I'm such a lazy pirate I won't even walk over to you to do you in. I certainly won't learn to use a sword, which will never run out of ammo during a proper pillage, because guns are newer than swords so they must be better." Wrong again, buddy. What if it's a big ship with a lot of crew onboard? Do you have enough rounds for that? As I said, the sword won't run out of ammo. What if you miss a shot and cause a fuel leak or make something explode? That's much less likely with a sword. Or maybe you need to work quietly. A sword is ALWAYS more silent than a gun. And suppose that, oh, I don't know, being out at sea you catch some fish to eat. Maybe a nice marlin or a tuna. Will that gun help you clean it? Nope, but a sword will. Learn to use the sword. You're not caving to tradition, you're being smart.
Blow up the ship? What? In the old days, pirates had to fence their stolen goods to make their money. Nope, I guess pirates today are just too lazy to sell goods that practically sell themselves in many parts of the world: guns. Instead they're going to blow up the ship if they don't get paid. And did you notice how they said they'd blow up the ship with them still on it? As if the law will say, "Oh no! Don't kill the pirates!" And did you notice how they backed down from their initial price? Evidently, they've been holding it ransom for weeks! No work ethic! To lazy to follow through on their own threats. Too wishy-washy to make any kind of stand. If they had paid attention during orientation and training, they could have just sailed away with the goods and made off with several million by fencing the goods themselves. But they failed to learn the required skills for the job and now they have the navy coming down on them. I bet they don't even have a plan to board and capture a navy ship...
I tell ya. Kids today just don't want to learn a trade properly.
You have been informed.