Friday, October 3, 2008

Your 2008 Presidential Ticket

Ladies and Gentlemen, as we draw ever closer to the looming election, we must all give careful consideration to who we will vote for. I once heard a statistic that every election year, Mickey Mouse gets, on average, 200,000 votes. The more I think over this fact, the more I am saddened that more people don't vote for him. Let's look at where he stands politically.

  • As a mouse, he's a little guy and an everyman. He truly represents the common people.
  • He's friends with individuals of all species. Dogs, ducks, ghosts. It's all the same to him. He's not prejudiced.
  • He isn't a man of great means. He lives a moderately comfortable life free of the suspicions against those wealthy elite with political aspirations. In other words, he's probably not a corporate lap dog.
  • He has a strong sense of right and wrong.
  • He's compassionate, especially to those in need.
There's a good chance our friend Mickey is a real Democrat and not a politician in the Democratic party. But who should be his running mate? How about long time friend and die-hard Republican Donald Duck? Don't believe he's a Republican? Allow me to prove it to you:
  • He's a military veteran. The guy was in the navy for decades.
  • He'll do anything for a buck.
  • He was active in the war effort during World War II, and even managed to put aside his American greed for good old American patriotism.
  • He practices strong family values by raising his three nephews, Huey, Dewey, and Louie. He even taught them smoking is bad for kids.
What an amazing ticket this would be. The two rival parties united under one presidency. Both are clearly old enough to run for president. Both were born in the U.S.A. True, both are financially backed by one of the nation's more money-hungry family companies, but you can't have it all, I suppose. I don't know about you, friends, but I know how I'm voting in November.

Mouse-Duck 2008!

You have been informed.

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