Sunday, October 26, 2008

Sleep Drunk

Ladies and Gentlemen, they say that if you go twenty-two hours without sleep, it is the equivalent of being drunk in terms of how it affects your reflexes and coordination and thinking and the like. I'm inclined to agree. I've been running on almost nothing, sleepwise, and my spell check thinks this is a drunk post. You can't see it, because I'm fixing the mistakes, but I'm making a lot of them.

This raises some questions with me. Could Mormon boys and girls, who are religiously deterred from drugs and alcohol, have staying up parties? How would the pick the designated napper to drive people home? Would the pranks be more wicked awesome because the likelihood of someone passing out is substantially higher, or would the party pranksters focus more on quantity and not quality? And how would police check for driving tired. A breathalizer won't pick it up, because it's morning breath that smells worst and not right-about-to-go-to-sleep breath. Would they give you a pillow and if you pass out, they know you were driving under the influence of wakefulness?

These are the questions that keep me up at night. These are the questions that send me on Truth Crusades into the Truthy Lands to recapture Truthusalem. Only, hopefully my success rate will be more than one in five. And fewer children will be killed by heathens. Hopefully that part too.

I guess the nuggest of insight I've decided to share today is this: Mr. Truth needs a nap.

You have been informed.

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